America's Next Great Vulgar Faux 60's Pop Smash

Something on my mind. I gotta say it.
Yeah.
Your pussy done changed.

Let me explain.

This is the lyrics to a song. A pop song, not a song I wrote in high school. A single. This is how that song starts. Her pussy had done changed.
This is obviously the work of a genius.
Who is responsible for this genius pussy work?

2 men:

This polite looking man is named Lloyd Polite. Lloyd is an R&B crooner who for years has been stuck singing hooks for Lil' Wayne songs (like that one Young Money song where Nicki Minaj promised to put her pussy on my sideburns. It's in my first blog entry. I have proof). He was about due for a solo hit.

And this guy is former rapper and current recluse/handkerchief aficionado Andre 3000, who used to be in Outkast and now makes two songs a year. Previously this year, Andre collaborated with Ke$ha on her excellent remix to "Sleazy", which my buddy Larry may or may not have been listening to when he got hit by a train and lived...


conclusion: Ke$ha saves lives.

So Andre, formerly of "My Baby don't mess around because she loves me so and this I know fo sho" fame decides to collaborate on a song called "Dedication to my Ex" with Lloyd. This is a vulgar song about a no good cheatin whore of a woman. Therefore, taking a cue from Cee Lo, they had to make it faux- Motown smash, like "Fuck You", a song you've probably never heard of.

This is my new favorite trend in Pop right now. I'm calling it FauxTown: Whenever an R&B singer goes pop with a angry vulgar song with a nice happy song that sounds like the music of young America circa 1963 in order to shock the listener with the jarring juxtaposition. FauxTown had it's watershed moment in Fuck You, but it draws on various other proto-FauxTown hits, such as almost everything Amy Winehouse recorded (did she died recently?) and the bizzare forgotten classic, "Fuck You".

Not by Cee Lo. By Eamon. AKA that song you thought you'd never have to hear again





But because fuck is a played out FauxTown refrain, Lloyd has opted for Pussy.

I've always liked the word pussy as a swear word. Vagina is a beautiful word, but it sounds foreign. It's like if someone goes by Nicholas, and you just stare at him and wonder why he doesn't go by Nick. Vagina needs a nickname. But cunt and twat are too vulgar and British. Pussy reminds me of Tom Jones and What's New Pussycat; everyone loves Tom Jones!
And Tom Jones was always sexy, right?

...
anyway, as Lloyd does his best Marvin Gaye impression about this girl's pussy, Andre gives one of his twice a year only verses. And it's awesome. UH-OH! It's time for an excerpt in itallics!

What? Why so quiet?
Hate that all of our memories happened in a Hyatt?
You were perfect before you went on a diet
You was way thicker, you think I don’t remember
Shit, the magazine got to your head
Now somebody you don’t even know got you in bed
Betcha buddy don't even know you don’t like red
Or was it fuchsia, fuck it, Our future is dead.

also he mentions the X-Men, which makes this my favorite song for the time being.

So, as I am wan to do, I have saved this video for the end of this post.