That just doing that isn't my style. So, to accentuate the Madness in March, here are my true March Madness pics- a lock for winning the office pool, wooing that secret crush, or killing Adrien Brody with your mind for paralyzing your grandmother.
SOUTH BRACKET
1 Kentucky Feral Beasts vs 16 Doesn't Matters
- Feral Beasts all the way here
8 Iowa State Acts of God vs 9 UConn Rapid Dogs
- The dogs looked good for awhile, but they can't beat a force of nature that can void insurance
12 Wichita St. Torturers vs VCU Swag
- Swag doesn't automatically make you 3 point shots like it did last year. Also the Torturers are a well conditioned group of lost souls
4 Indiana Polite Christian Neighbors vs 13 New Mexico State Blood Cretins
-It'll take a mighty beast to take down the Blood Cretins this year
3 Baylor Vomits vs 14 South Dakota St. Exiled Prophets
- Their new jerseys look like puke, but Baylor's never looked better
6 UNLV Prostitute Buyers vs Colorado Charging Wooly Beasts
-Buying a 'tute for a night actually makes you better at making foul shots
7 Notre Dame Fake Catholics vs Xavier School for Girls Who have Fornicated With Tu Holloway
-But seriously, I know people who did...
2 Duke Azure Satans vs Lehigh Leigh-Js
- Not even a Leigh-J can stop the wrath of a Blue Devil
WEST BRACKET
1 Michigan State SPARTAAAAAA vs LIU-Brooklyn Hipsters
-March Madness? THIS IS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!
8 Memphis Jazz Cats vs 9 St Louis ?s
- I want SLU to win because they're mascot is a EWW WHAT IS THAT?
5 New Mexico Meth Addicts vs 12 Long Beach Snoop Doggs
- Ain't nuttin but a g thangg
4 Lousiville vs 13 Davidson Liberal Arts Wildcats
-Like a more douchey Kentucky
6 Murrary State Racists vs 11 Colorado St. Colons
- The racists have only one loss this year
3 Marquette Birds of Prey vs Iona Gentle Breezes
- Eagles soar off of your pathetic mascot
7 Florida Tebows vs Virginia Confederate Soldiers
- Tim Tebow went there!
2 Missouri Feral Beasts 2 vs 15 Norfolk State Antiquaited Clothings
-Like the Kentucky Feral beasts, but with a better draw!
EAST BRACKET
1 Syracuse Orange Colored Men vs 16 UNC Ashville Blood Motley
-Do they have jaundice?
8 Kansas St Blood Beasts vs Southern Mississippi Partially Lion Devoured Colosseum Fodder
-I always pick bloodthirsty beasts
5 Vanderbilt SAT Quantitative vs 12 Harvard SAT Verbal
-Better Engineering jobs out there
4 Wisconsin BadgerBadgerBadgers vs 13 Montana Blood Traitors
-Blood traitors outlast the Bloodlust bloodsluts
6 Cincinnati Yancy Gates vs 11 Texas Neutered Bulls
-Yancy: PUNCH. No seriously, he's a nice boy, they look some good these days.
3 Florida St Racist Terms vs St Bonaventure Papists
- Seminole isn't a real tribe, but they make threes
7 Gonzaga March Madness Equivalent of the US World Cup Team vs 10 WVU Sister Fornicators
-Looks like you're gonna do it every year, Zaga/US Mens, but you never do.
2 Ohio St Sentient Plants vs Loyola Homelessmen
- Sentient plants are our only hope vs zombies...
MIDWEST BRACKET
1 North Carolina Racist Term for Poor Black Children vs 16 Lamar Snowboards
-Seriously, isn't that what Tar Heel means?
8 Creighton Fightin' Penises vs 9 Alabama Euphemism for Menstration
- The Penises have been tearing it up in the genital league all yar
5 Temple BILL vs 12 California Idols
4 Michigan Mutants vs 13 OU COSBY
- If Temple plays OU, then maybe Billy Cosby will have an excuse to do this again:
6 San Diego State Disgraced Peoples vs 11 NC State Direwolves
-I couldn't go a whole post without mentioning Game of Thrones
3 Georgetown Classics Students vs 14 Belmont Death Bears
- I can't pick the Golden Bears against Temple, because I really need that Cosby rematch, so I'm picking these bears here.
7 St Marys Apostate Deniers vs 10 Purdue Fightin' Trains
-I'm not picking Notre Dame, I'm picking St. Marys.
2 Kansas Bleeding Ruffians vs 15 Detroit Unemployed Fat Men
- The Jayhawkers will senselessly massacre their opponents like they did in the civil war.
And in case you need to know, this is the rest of my bracket:
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