You and Me could have a Rad Bromance

Ladies and Gentleman, Evan Blyth Sneath is going to Germany.

Evan Blyth Sneath was, is and forever shall be "Friday Buddy". For an entire quarter, I met up with him on Friday nights; initially accidentally, then later intentionally. He started off my Friday Buddy, he was in my phone as Friday Buddy, but he became my bro. Our Bromance would enthrall Cincinnati and indeed the heavens above. Alas, he leaves to go make money on an international co-op (w00t), but I swear by the gods I shall see him again.

So this got me thinking about the all-time great bromances. To be considered for this list is a great honor. You must be two men, who are neither gay nor family, but have a bond like brothers and a passion like lovers.


HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Butch & Sundance
Mr. Fantastic & the Thing
Bret & Jemaine
Ghostface Killer & Raekwon
Joe Sullivan & Nate Loyer

10: JOHNNY AND MARK (The Room)

Johnny was Mark's best friend. The two inseparable studs of San Fransisco had everything, good looks, prowess in bed, their ideas were being put into practice at the bank, and a good woman. Too bad it ended up being the same woman. SPOI... who gives a fuck, there's no plot to ruin. If there's one thing that defines Tommy Wisseau's cult classic other than bad acting, terrible blocking, gratuitous sex scenes or a dog at a florist, its the love between Johnny and Mark... and their shared love of football. Yes, they may have had their differences, and yes, it may have culminated in suicide (I blame Lisa), but in my mind, they'll always be running through Golden Gate Park... and "playing football".

9: Pete and Carl (of the Libertines)

Pete Doherty and Carl Barat were two aspiring rockers in England during last decade's garage-rock boom. Their band, The Libertines, were a gung-ho bunch who would become a bromantic bedtime story. In the age of S Club 7 and Coldplay, they had punk on the top of the English charts. They would give their fans their cell phone numbers (if the fans would get a tattoo of their logo). They had houseparties that evolved into impromptu concerts. Their shows were jubilant messes, and the two of them had more than enough chemistry. But Pete was too wild. Like, doing heroin with Kate Moss in a jacuzzi and smoking crack and playing with baby mice with Amy Winehouse too wild. By their second album, Carl felt like Pete had put their relationship through hell. Rather than complain about it, these two songwriters wrote a song about it. Bromance topped the English charts; it was called "Can't Stand Me Now".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqM11bt9QvI

 8: Tim and Eric (Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job)

A true bromance will come pre-equipped with comedic timing. When one watches Tim and Eric on their "what-is-loosely-considered-a-show", these bros are the perfect comedy team.
Ok, the pair is in no way perfect, but better than that, the two of them understand each other on a deep, emotional level. They seem to be on a quest to make each other laugh, and getting a rise out of the audience may just be a side effect. In its purest form, Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job is two best friends, a bag of weed, a greenscreen, and a notebook of "all that shit we said would be funny that one time". To make a show of that, nay, a profit, nay, a franchise, that is bromance in action.

7: Joey and Chandler (Friends)

 For all the Romance that happened on Friends, the true love was the Bromance. Neurotic Chandler and Sleezy Joey may look different on paper, but sometimes opposites attract. In reclining chairs. For a thesis on not only bromance but also the importance of a man cave, look no further than the episode entitled "The One Where Ross and Rachel... You Know". Ross and Rachel have a tension-breaking romantic night of... screw that! Joey and Chandler order pizzas to Monica's. Confused, she brings it to them, and viola! The pizza is delivered to the chair. Bromance does wonders for the mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQNc3xFyd48

6: Tien and Chiaotzu (Dragonball Z)

Starting off as the Crane School's evil doppelgangers of Goku and Krillin, Tien and Chiaotzu had an "us against the world" attitude from their youths. As they grew to be heroes, they grew to be inseparable. Their proudest, most bromantic moment was the fight against Nappa, when Chiaotzu commits suicide to save Tien and Tien uses all of his energy to avenge Chiaotzu. Yes, these bros were a kung-fu suicide cult. They lived the rest of their lives together in heaven and later back on Earth, occasionally fighting an Android or four, but normally bro-ing it out.

5: Kirk and Spock

While this may loose points because Kirk is Spock's boss, the two of them have boldly gone when no bromance has gone before.Maybe it's Kirk's natural promiscuity or Spock's instinct to be a wingman, but I always imagine them as a tag team. Yes, that kind of tag team.
The two of them have lived long as prospered just like the Enterprise herself, with their most bromantic moment being Spock's self-sacrifice in Wrath of Khan. But true bromances never die, just like Spock's katra.
Fascinating.

4: Rob and Big

So far, the most mismatched pair on this list, Rob and Big may live the ideal life. Here is a pro-skateborder and his bodyguard. They are rich. They have free time. Cameras follow them. They spend all their time hanging out and spending ridiculous amounts of money in ridiculous ways (known as "Doing Work"). Hey, do we need a fleet of RC helicopters? A reason to fly Uncle Jerry out from Mississippi? A mini-horse? No. But any day with Rob and Big (and Meaty and Drama and Bam Bam) becomes the best day ever. The testament to their bond is their language. Do work son. Dirty girl. Wing king baby. What cho momma said stomp. Doo-doo related ghost. The magic of television allowed us to see two best friends hanging out every week; the bromance was real, and we saw it, son.


3: Han and Chewbacca

Dog is man's best friend, but wookiee is more than that. Chewie is the perfect bromantic partner; Han has literally handed him a gun and then petted him on the head after he kills stormtroopers.
Listen, a life of intergalactic piracy can be hard. Two outlaws, outrunning the law in the Millennium Falcon, occasionally running into bounty hunters or jedi, Han and Chewie thought they would be together forever. When Han gets frozen in carbonite, yes, Leia is so sad she confesses she loves Han as if she were to never see him again, but Chewie moans in agony for the rest of the scene! It's all worth it for when they reunite in Jabba's jail; Han and Chewie have the most believable bro hug of all time.

2: Ben Affleck and Matt Damon

Two childhood best friends become actors, and make a pact to stick it out together in Hollywood. They write a movie called Good Will Hunting. They take their mom's to the Oscars. They date friends. They get married, they vacation together. What is so poignant about this bromance is that its almost as if they weren't celebrities. There's just two dudes that have been best friends forever. Post Good Will Hunting, they played a fallen bromance is Dogma, and themselves in the swing of bromance in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
But really, all you need to know is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQNc3xFyd48


1: Bruce Sprignsteen and Clarence Clemons

As the image suggests, Bruce relied on Clarence in the 70s; "The Big Man's" horn was the driving sound and often the hook of the E Street Band. At live shows, Clarence and Bruce are a cakewalking, random percussion playing duo, equip ed with enough zany antics and rabbits out of the hats make the audience stick around for a 4+ hour show. But alas, the 80s came, and synths replaced saxes. But the Boss couldn't end Clarence's bromance just yet. Clarence stayed with the band, because Bruce can't exist without his Big Man.

In every 80s Springsteen video, Clarence is always unjustifiably happy. Whether he's playing little percussion thingies : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vQpW9XRiyM

or clapping wildly to ensure a hookup with Courtney Cox
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=129kuDCQtHs   (GO TO 1:40 I DARE YOU!)

Clarence is just happy to be around Bruce

...ok, maybe a bit too happy. What, bros can make out, right?